Pockets

A note under your door.

Hi, I’m Tommy. I just moved into 2A next door and thought I’d introduce myself. Since you weren’t home, I decided to slip this note under your door.

One thing you should know about me, probably the one thing you should know about me if we’re being honest, is that I invented pockets.

Yes, those pockets, in your pants or skirt, coat, shirt, etc.

Now when you see me for the first time, you’ll probably say to yourself, “Hold on a second, that guy doesn’t look old enough to have invented pockets,” but let me assure you I am.

You’re reading this now thinking, “Wait a minute, pockets? Come on, those things have been around for centuries. What the hell is this guy talking about?”

I’m talking about pockets. I came up with them. Originally, they were small sacks people carried everyday stuff around in. Like a lot of small sacks. Think of what you’re wearing (unless you’ve just come out of the shower and decided to read this for the first time dripping wet to which I can only say RESPECT!), and all the pockets you have on your person. Now can you imagine if all those pockets were individual sacks? Picture yourself walking into a bar or library carrying all those sacks. Haha weird! (And don’t try to get smart and imagine that you would stuff all those small sacks into a bigger sack, color coding each one so you know what you’re getting when you reach into the large sack while trying to pay at the grocery mart, because believe me it won’t work, it didn’t work when I tried it in the days of my brainstorming the solution that would soon become pockets).

Okay, you’ve put down this note and walked away for a bit. You’re overwhelmed and a little angry, the thought crossing your mind is, “Dang it! Now I have to deal with a new neighbor in the building, someone who probably throws away a lot of trash, but doesn’t ever use a trash bag so he has to walk each individual eggshell and banana peel down to the trash chute the minute they become trash and since he has more than three-hundred keys it makes an incredible amount of jingling and jangling when he stomps down the hallway, and on top of that he INVENTED POCKETS?!”

Yup. It’s a lot I know. But don’t freak. That’s a big part of why I left this note for you (that and to tell you it will probably take me a few weeks of tapping on our shared wall before I find the correct stud to hang the first in my collection of homemade flags). I want to take the pressure off from the jump. Like, yes, I invented pockets, that’s a huge accomplishment, but I’m just a human being like you. Down to earth, put my pants on one leg at time (when I choose to wear them, I’m finding more and more, lately, that clothes inhibit me, and that others’ “surprised” [read: intrigued] reactions when I don’t wear them in public never cease to amaze me). I’m just a regular dude who screams loudly in his sleep like anyone else.

So please, don’t get all nervous when we meet later tonight on the fire escape (I keep my cool beverages out there to save on the cost of refrigeration). In fact, get excited! I invented pockets, and now we’re neighbors. And you haven’t even heard the story of how I came up with them. I’ll save that for in person because it’s very animated. I kind of envy you right now to be honest.

Yours Sincerely,

Tommy in 2A